Listen, in 2022 you need to normalize declining marriage proposals at the mall, in a private hotel room and other awwww places if the both of you haven't had a prior intentional conversation about the layed down principles and Kingdom values that are going to play out in the supposed marriage.

I'm speaking as a Father, coach and marriage counselor. 

Many people have entered into nonsense marriages because one dude knelt down to propose at the mall in front of his village people. Many of those proposals there was no prior intimate conversation about plans for marriage, or if the brother is willing to adjust his shortcomings and work on becoming better.

All these 'surprise effect' in proposals should be minimised please. 

A guy that you know don't have a good attitude and godly values will buy one yeye 'will you marry me' bloom bloom and kneel down on third mainland bridge to propose to you, and you are pressured to say yes to him because there is a camera watching and people applauding, knowing very well that there are many issues he's got going on that hasn't been trashed and worked on.

No working plan.

No adjustment strategy.

No personal walk with God.

No record of him making any personal growth or self development in the last how many months.

But you are wowed because the brother came up with a ring and hibiscus flower wrapped with ribbons? 

Stop that nonsense in 2022.

If you both have not been having these conversations, setting up structures and drawing up strategies to succeed in your marriage, don't be wowed by one all of a sudden proposal on your birthday. 

Normalise saying "I want this but no, there are many issues we have to walk through first to really make this moment ordained".

A proposal has to be an ordained moment in both your lives, not just one entertaining moment.

I'm addressing both genders here even though it seems the hammer is on the ladies. 

Normalise saying NO, no matter the pressure from his hype man at the proposal, if you know that his excesses are to be discussed and visibly adjusted before this decision can become valid.

Are you hearing me or I should mind my business?

Many of these folks just know that your dream is to wear some wedding ring and show off the Snapchat pictures with your friends, so they can propose in their disfunction and get away with it. 

And don't tell me that no one is perfect, not every imperfection is your portion okay! 

Did you hear me?

All the marriages in the Bible from Abraham and Sarah to Mary and Joseph and co, how many imperfections where really spotlighted? Does it mean that there had no imperfections? Yes, they had their imperfections as a couple, but their perfection was way weightier than their shortcomings, that was why those bottlenecks in their character where never heard even though they were there.

Same applies to you, don't let a brother with a truckload of imperfections that out numbers his few good qualities propose to you on a boat cruise, it won't be long before stress and frustration will cruise your life. 

Another excuse people give to settle for a dysfunctional partner is that you will use courtship to work it out.

Aunty just keep quiet and say white gown is hungrying you to wear, after dating for 5 years without any sign of a positive change in attitude, you want to use six months of courtship to do the magic? Welldone aunty Catalina and uncle Sebastian.

Heed to this warning now.

I love you.





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