Please listen to me now that you are still waiting to marry, and for new couples who just recently got married too;

Do not give anyone the permission to sow the seed of fear into your heart and mind with all those funny claims that the first year of marriage is usually the toughest for every couple bla bla bla.

 It doesn't matter how long that person has been married for, that's a lie straight from the pit of hell. Or maybe they are right, because that demonic theory applies only to their own marriage, not mine, and definitely not yours. 

In our first year of marriage I was busy looking out for what people have said is hard, till today I have still not seen.

So many fears built into the heart of couples during courtship;

You will fight very well.

He will slap you very hard.

You will disagree with him alot and keep Malice.

It is tough, tougher, toughest in the first year.

Thats how you will listen to this load of fear and by your own hand destroy your marriage because you are looking for what does not exist. Many times you are even the one creating the problems you are looking for in your marriage. 

A couple came to me for counselling and one of the them said she's feeling depressed because her husband is too quiet for her liking, he doesn't talk back or encourage the quarrel she tries to instigate. That somebody told her during courtship that if her husband does not beat her up once in a while or provoke her to anger he does not love her.

You can see how these theories of men are destroying marriages.

Or should I say how people are using their own personal experiences to define the standards and expectations of your marriage for you.

Some of these theories stem from their own unwillingness and laziness to work on their marriage, so they walk around saying marriage is hard, not knowing that actually, they are the ones who were too soft to handle their differences.

A wife will go and start looking through her innocent husband's phone because someone told her all men cheat, and if he doesn't cheat he doesn't love you that much, nonsense talk.

Another woman hid her husband's car keys during an argument just to see how he will react, cos she heard if he beats her their love will become stronger. Meanwhile other people's marriages are stronger than Mount Everest without anyone laying a finger on anybody or provoking the other to anger.

Husband's now develop wonderful strategies on how to attack and belittle their wives before his family after the wedding, because they learnt that generally wives hate their mother inlaws, so your wife is secretly harbouring the wish that your mother should kick the bucket.

And stop following all these social media pages that spread bad news about marriage everyday. I know you want to learn from the failures of others, but how many successes of others have you learnt from?

Everyday you are on JORO and other pages on IG with people confessing and planting seeds of destruction in your heart all in the disguise of "Please Hide my identity". Meanwhile, your true identity in Christ Jesus which has been openly revealed to you in the Scriptures have never opened it to study.

Guys, FAITH comes by HEARING and hearing by the WORD OF GOD, the Bible says.

That's also the same way fear and destruction comes, by the rubbish you hear and embrace as your own reality.

Look, whether in your First year, second year or last year, your marriage will be hard if you are too soft to work on it.

I speak to you like a father.





Post a Comment