Over time, while having my coaching session with people, I can practically feel the frustration of those who have been longing to settle down. 

Truth is, I might not be able to fully comprehend how they feel but at least, I can confidently say I understand 60% of how they feel because I know exactly what it is to trust God for a blessing for so long.

I allow them vent their frustrations and fear and do not interrupt them or try to make them think that it is uncalled for. Inasmuch as I know, marriage isn't all there is to life, I also know that a beautiful marriage is an experience worth having. 

In the course of our session,  I do tell them four major things. 

❗ Firstly, start praying for your future spouse. There is this tendency to get discouraged and decide to wait until they come before you begin praying for them. However, I beg to differ. You can start sowing seeds of prayers into their lives before they arrive. 

I've seen this manifest in my own life. 


I remember praying specifically for a homely husband: one who will see my family as his and vice versa. Today, I smile when I see this manifest practically before my eyes. Sometimes, my siblings call my darling husband more often than they call me. 

The importance of this cannot be overemphasized. 

❗ Secondly, be sensitive to times and seasons. Are you prepared for what you are praying for? You are praying for a future spouse but haven't learnt how to bridle your tongue. You curse people at every provocation. Musa left because you called his entire generation witches and you still wouldn't apologize. Instead, you are saying he deserves it and much more.

 Ada left because you wouldn't let your other exes know they don't own you any longer. You made her tired of fighting for your attention. You were so randy with girls that she feared that will continue even after wedding. 

You aren't even working on that weak point of yours but praying for another 'victim'. 

Hear this, God won't take his precious son and give to you so that you send him to an early grave. God loves his princess too much to give to a man that doesn't know the value of a princess. 

Also, Will you be able to identify the spouse you've been praying for when he/she shows up? Are you even expecting them to show up? Remember the story in the Bible? 

Christians were praying for the release of Peter, yet when he was released, they thought it was a ghost. 

❗Thirdly, do not postpone living your life just because you aren't yet in a romantic relationship. Being in a romantic relationship is just one area of your life and not all there is to your life. In the Revised Edition of BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED, I said and I quote, 'let your potential spouse meet you living the life you were created to live and not waiting idly with the goal of being saved by a marriage proposal' 

Truth is, same way most ladies do not want a lazy man, most men do not also want a lazy woman. Get busy productively. 

❗ Fourthly, be sure you aren't the one contributing negatively to your situation. What do you think about marriage? What do you also say about those getting married? Once, I sat down in my former place of worship and watched a single lady laugh at her friend and husband as they were introduced to the church for prayers as they prepared for their wedding. She said, ' this one too na husband? Na where this my friend go carry this thing from? ' 

I just stared in total disbelief. This was her closest friend. Why castigate her choice of a husband in such a way? Even if you know somethings you aren't comfortable with, you don't have to act in such a manner. There are better ways of airing your views. 

Some go as far as pitying all those who are married and spread tales of how they are suffering and then you suddenly want to join the gang of those suffering? 

Apostle Joshua Selman shared something striking in one of his messages. He said, 'you cannot castigate a good thing and then want it in your life'. 

As you pray for things you desire, do put other things in place as well. Pay attention to the little foxes that can spoil the vine. 

I pray that God answers everyone trusting Him for one blessing or another speedily. 


To Getting It Right While You Wait.

✍️ Ody Agbor

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